Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Time For Contemplation

Yesterday I was in the car by myself, heard a song I liked and turned up the radio. It occurred to me then that I had been driving for about seven minutes just thinking. Thinking about whatever I wanted. And other than the radio, it was silent. No fighting. No shrieking. No endless questions. 

How I relished that moment. 

About three minutes later, the van was again filled with fights, shrieks and questions. I wouldn't want it any other way. That noise is what fills my heart even if it drowns out my own thoughts. 

I spend very little time by myself these days. Whether I'm with the girls, with Scott or both, I don't often have time to just think. I work from home, so I don't even have the morning and evening drive. 

It's something that you don't really notice you're missing until it hits you while you're turning up some catchy pop song. And in that moment, you close your eyes (figuratively, in my case) and soak it up because it never lasts long. 

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Are You Still My Friend?

Lately, when Grace gets in trouble, she'll find a corner or hide behind a curtain and mutter to herself. "Mommy doesn't lub me anymore. Mommy isn't my friend anymore." 

I wasn't sure how to handle this at first. Is she wanting reassurance that I still love her? Is she just wanting me to make her feel good after I made her feel bad? Was it both?

So, I talked to her about it. I told her that no matter what she did, no matter how mad or disappointed I was, that I would always still love her. No matter what. This isn't a new theme out our house. I probably tell them I love them 413 times a day. But I thought it was worth repeating -- that whatever mistake you make, whatever bad choice you choose, I'll be here. Always. 

But every time I reminded her of this, she would give me this smile that said "I know, I just wanted to hear it." 

Fair enough. Sometimes, we all need to hear it.