Tuesday, August 31, 2010

The Enforcer

I live in the boonies where we have all sorts of critters: toads, lizards, bunnies, spiders, snakes. But the worst, in my humble opinion, is the mice. And here's the reason: they insist upon coming inside the house.

You see, when we moved into this house, we were told of The Contract. Those who choose to live in the country abide by the The Contract: Critters and humans can co-exist as long as critters remain outside.

But every year at about this time, the mice break The Contract.

And every year, I'm forced to release The Enforcer.

She is by far my favorite pet. Not only is she not annoying like the other ones, but she is a great mouser.

And just in case I forgot that fact, she's been showing me just how talented she is. A few days ago as I was hurriedly putting Grace in an exersaucer and mixing up some cereal for Claire, I look down and see what appears to be a very large mouse.

As I jump onto the nearest stool, I think ...

Oh, man. There's a mouse in my kitchen. I think I just saw it move.

Surely that's not still alive.

But it's eyes are open.

You can't just leave Grace so close to it.

Oh, she's fine. It's not like her feet are actually touching the ground.

Thankfully, my father-in-law came to my (and Grace's) rescue and removed the little critter.

Fast forward a couple of days, and I see Lily has caught another one.

Four days. Two mice.

Don't mess with The Enforcer.

Sunday, August 29, 2010


Family. Friends. Fun.

That was our weekend.

Oh, yeah. And mice. But more on that tomorrow.

In a two-day span, the girls played with four grandparents, one great-grandparent, a cousin, three friends, two kids and one baby. When we put them to sleep Sunday evening, they were exhausted. Being popular takes a toll.

But the whole weekend got me thinking about the importance of family. Families give you a lift when your car breaks down. Families mow your grass when you just can't find the time. Families watch your babies so you can have a night off. Families eat, drink and be merry with you on your birthday. But most importantly, families fill you with love. A deep, unbreakable, unconditional love.

Forget the heirlooms. And the family recipes. And the inheritance (ha. ha. ha.) If there is one thing I want our girls to know, it's love.

But I'm guessing they already do.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Pictures of the Week: August 27

You thought I forgot. I know you did.

But I didn't.

I couldn't.


I eat, sleep and breathe them.

I wouldn't forget.

Happy eight months, baby girls!!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

What Is Yours Is Mine

When you have twins, it's wise to buy two of the same toy. There is less fighting that way. There are no "But she has the cooler toy. Or the newer toy. Or the bigger toy." Because they are the same. Having two of the same toy is a fool-proof way to prevent fights between siblings.

At least Grace was good-natured about it. This time.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The Backpedal

Check out this exersaucer. Pretty sweet, right?

It bounces. It spins. It rocks. And it's full of cool toys.

My girls love it. But here's the weird part. This is their favorite thing.

The snack tray. They play with all of the other toys, too, but they just keep coming back to the snack tray.

Remember when I said this? Um.Yeah. Well. About that.

**Editor's Note: To the future Grace and Claire who may end up reading this post ... you might wonder if your mother just called you dumb. She did. But she was only kidding!! She thinks your brilliant. And a little weird.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Past the Verge

Must. Buy. Baby. Gate. Pronto.

P.S. I spent about 67 hours yesterday looking for my camera which held this priceless footage. I was sure it had been stolen. Or that Izzy ate it. But after hours of searching, I found it shoved behind the cushion of the recliner. I blame Grace.

Monday, August 23, 2010

A Moment In Time

We took a road trip this weekend with the girls. Headed to my brother's house to barbecue with my family. We ate. We laughed. We hugged. It was the kind of gathering that makes you so thankful for your family.

And on the way home, I had a moment. A moment where I was so filled with happiness, I was sure it was oozing out of my ears.

The girls were in the back seat snoozing away. Scott was in the passenger seat snoozing away. And I was driving, listening to the Garden State soundtrack and looking out at the beautiful fields of eastern Kansas. And the road, of course.

Then something started bubbling inside of me. I started thinking about how good my life is. How great my life is. How at this very moment I have everything that I could ever want. And the tears just started rolling.

I know there will be moments of disappointment. And sadness. And fear. I know there will be heartache that I cannot even begin to imagine.

But yesterday, life was perfect. And for that, I'm eternally thankful.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Picture of the week: August 20

This picture pretty much sums up our week. Happy little babies.

Thursday, August 19, 2010


As you know, Grace is known for her eating troubles.

Well, yesterday she ate a napkin. Seriously. I'm not joking. I was putting Claire in the high chair while Grace (who was behind me) grabbed a nearby napkin and shoved it in her mouth.

I did what any calm, cool, collected Mom would do. I frantically dialed my mother while googling "baby eats napkin." Both said not to worry. That kids eat much worse things.

But here's the awesome part. They both also said to be on the lookout for it on "the other end."

Lucky me.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

On the Verge

I'm on the verge of being in deep trouble.

If you have kids, you see what I mean. Those girls have learned to tuck their knees. It's only a matter of time before they learn how to crawl. And I will be totally screwed.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

What It's Like to be a Ginger

I have red hair. I'm pale. And I have freckles. Scott calls me a ginger. It's a term of endearment. I think.

I spent a majority of my teenage years wishing I wasn't so fair skinned. When all of my friends wanted to lay out at the pool, I cringed at the thought of sitting under the sizzling sun. I knew I would burn within minutes. Sometimes I would blister. And that's with 50 SPF sunscreen.

I was a very sensitive child.

And I gave birth to two more. They are still pretty bald, but the fuzz on their heads is red. And their skin is pale. I know what their future holds. Sunscreen, hats, shade trees. Sunburns, blisters, Aloe Vera.

As for now, when they go outside, they are well protected by a Mom who knows what it's like to be a ginger.

Monday, August 16, 2010

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

I have good news. And I have bad news.

I'll start with the good.

Claire's first tooth made an appearance this weekend.

I felt excited, sad, old and excited again all in a matter of seconds. But I also felt strange. It hit me that my little baby won't be a little baby forever. Toddlers have teeth. Fourth graders have teeth. Adults have teeth. Getting teeth means she's growing up. Being in the trenches day after day can make you lose sight of the road ahead. But then you feel a tooth, and you remember that babies don't stay babies forever. And that makes me sad.

But onto my bad news.

Claire's first tooth made an appearance this weekend.

I assume it's the tooth that caused Claire to be a royal pain this weekend, but it's hard telling since she can't talk.

She refused to sleep. She normally gets about three hours of napping each day. But Sunday she recorded 30 minutes. It was ugly. I won't get into all the ins and outs of our weekend, but just know there was a lot of crying. Mostly by me.

And today, Scott goes to work, and I'm on my own ...

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Caption Contest #14 Winner

And the winners are ... everyone!!

I know. A little lame and wishy-washy on my part. But only three entered, and I loved all three. And I run this show, so I make the rules.

Most surprising goes to ... Lyndsay!
Grace: Sorry I kicked you in the face.
Claire: It's okay, I'm going to do really horrible things to you when I figure out how to walk.
Grace: Oh good...wait, what?

Most vulgar goes to ... Grandma and Aunt Carrie!
Grace: Get your F#%$n' hand off me, b#@ch!
Claire: Ooooooooo.....I am tellin'!!!!!!!

Most "Goodfellas" goes to ... Ashley!
Grace: Why I oughta pop you one...
Claire: Hey, wait, I thought we were bonding!

Friday, August 13, 2010

Picture of the week: August 13

By far the coolest thing they are doing right now is learning to interact with each other. Sure, they have a tendency to kick and grab and scratch, which leads to screaming, which leads me to wonder why they don't have separate bedrooms. But then I see them smile at each other. And I remember.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

The Story of Grace

Being a twin means learning independence at an early age. Take Grace, for example. This morning, she had a problem. Her taggie fell on the floor and Mom was way too busy doing something urgently important with Claire (errr ... taking pictures of her plight) to help her out.

Whew! That's a long way down.

Maybe I can use my feet.

Hey, lady, are you gonna help me?

I'm bored with this.

Look, I got it!

Wait for it ...

Nom, nom, nom

Man, I'm cute.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Caption Contest: August 11

We provide the picture. You write a caption (in the comments section below). The winner will be showered with fame and glory. Ready. Set. Go!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Caption Contest #13 Winner

And the winner is .... Anonymous

Grace: I said no talking during the show only at commercials!
Claire: Mom, Grace is showing off again!

Turn That Frown Upside Down

Isn't this the saddest, most pitiful look you've ever seen?

What about this one?

Claire has been experimenting lately with frowning at people. Especially people she doesn't know. She's been toying with stranger danger for a few weeks, so I just assumed this was an extension of that.

That face is usually followed by a quivering lip, eyes welling with tears and finally a heartbreaking wail. What kind of mother am I? Exposing my daughter to the horrors of close friends and extended family!

It tears at my heart whenever I see it start to happen. My brain's telling me to just make her feel comfortable, but my gut is telling me to make a run for it.

So, this weekend when we went to a picnic FULL of strangers, it didn't surprise me to see this face again and again.

But with nowhere to run, I tried a little tickle under the chin. And within a matter of seconds, the face immediately changed.

I think I've been played.

Monday, August 9, 2010


You're not here. And I'm not telling you this.

I refused to be jinxed. Because you're not here. And I'm not telling you this.

But we had a fantastic weekend. FANTASTIC. You know all of those times that I complained about life? Like here. And here. Oh, and don't forget here.

Today I'm rectifying that. Except you're not here. And I'm not telling you that our weekend was full of smiling babies. Laughing babies. Giggling babies. Babies so happy, I wondered if Scott had slipped them something.

Whatever it was, I'll take some, too.

They swam, they partied and they picnicked. Their naps were interrupted and their eating schedules were jostled, but they were still delightful little babies.

I tell you this because 1) I like to live on the wild side when it comes to Karma 2) I want those of you who I have scared into celibacy to know that having babies isn't all poopy diapers and screaming babies.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Conspiracy Theory

I may be paranoid. I may be crazy. Or both.

But I'm fairly certain my children are plotting against me.

After six long months of crying while she ate, I finally figured out what was wrong with Grace. Only to turn around and have Claire start crying while eating. Seriously? I fix one of you and then the other breaks? But then we found out Claire had a massively sore throat, so I let that one go.

But this time ... this time is different.

Grace is a phenomenal sleeper. Not a good sleeper. Not a great sleeper. A phenomenal sleeper. She will fall asleep within minutes of laying down. And she will stay asleep for more than an hour at each nap time and for 10 hours over night. This is what saved her from being sold at auction during that whole six long months of crying.

And Claire, as I've mentioned before, sucked at sleeping. She couldn't put herself to sleep and she couldn't stay asleep. But then miraculously, not too long ago, she learned how to do it. She started being able to fall asleep, and her naps were lasting longer than 45 minutes.

Oh, how lovely! Now, maybe, with both girls sleeping, I can get some work done around here!!

Yeah. Right.