MY SUPER DADDY

Hi, it's me again. I know I haven't written in a while. I was just thinking about what to say, so here it is. Hope you like it. 

I've always wrote about stuff that happens, not who is there with me — someone that's been there for me my whole life, and thats my daddy. 

He's funny, nice and kind — sometimes strict, but always lovable. He works almost all day everyday selling houses and putting food on our table. He's really smart and will never miss a chance to play chess with me whenever he can. 

He's the best daddy in the world. I wouldn't switch with anyone in the entire world. Never in a million years. 

He's strict and sometimes a volcano about to explode, but sometimes his volcano goes extinct for a little bit, but it always comes back. [no offense, dad] 

Dad always tells me stuff he knows like when I found the biggest worm ever today he told me it was a night crawler. Best dad ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is what happens when christmas time rolls around 

DAD THE SUPER HERO 

A QUOTE FROM DAD 

"CAUSE I KNOW EVERYTHING"

sincerely claire 

Bloggers Competition

Hey guys, I'm back. OK, so you are probably wondering "why is the title called Bloggers Competition?" As you might know, me and my mom are bloggers. And we talked about it and we're going in to competition. And not for all the time my mom has been a blogger because she wrote way more than me. Just this year she wrote 7. I've written 3. This is my 4th. And I have way more time because, well, I'm not a mom. But don't tell her this. I have to ask her and only get a few min to write a blog. So, she could just always say no blog, "no no no. not right now." But don't tell her please. Thanks. I know I could count on you. The competition ends at the end of the month. I'm sooo going to win.

Bye for now!

P.S. mom, I'm on your tail

Annoying little brothers and sisters

Hey guys guess what this is my 3rd post today!

Wow, right? I love this. Why did my mom ever stop?

So, I'm going to talk about my brother and sister. They're so annoying. My brother is a BUTT FACE! And my sister is sometimes, not a lot. Kidding. She can be a butt face a lot.

My bro can be really mean, but he's got a good heart. I mean, probably. JK. When he's mad he will kick or hit or throw. He can be mean. I hope he doesn't do that in kindergarten.

And Claire doesn't  kick or throw. She just talks or lies. Or, well, what a ten year old would do to be a butt face. (Or sometimes even a four year old.) Poor mom and dad — they have to deal with them.

You probably think, "Wait, what about me?" Let me let you in on a secret ... I'm the good child.

But let's be real. I love them so much. I would never trade them for anything else in the world. Well, maybe ... JK.

I love you Claire and Henry.

Little brothers and sisters can be annoying, but we will always still love you guys.

Bye for now!

to: Claire and Henry
from: Grace, your best sister

All about me

Hey guys, it's Grace again.

OK, so you might be getting a little bored with me and say, "Hey, where's Katie?"

Joking!

I mean this is my 2nd blog. I really like writing on this blog. Maybe i'll be like my mom and write my own blog?

I just wanted to tell you guys a little about me. Now some of you might already know me, but for those that don't, get ready.

I'm in 4th grade going to be in 5th. I do competition for dance at Bates. I do a lot of sports: softball, basketball, volleyball and I do swimming in the summer. I have a twin sister named Claire, a brother named Henry, and 2 parents. But you probably already know that. I have red hair blue eyes  and I'm ten.

And I have the best family in the world!

Thats all I have for today. Bye for now!
 

Mom, I love you

Hi, my name is Grace. I'm Katie/Mom's daughter and I just started to read my mom's blog and it is amazing.

And this is a surprise for her, so she knows how amazing she is. Mom, I hope you hear this: I love over the moon and back.

You are always there when I need you. You're funny and amazing and caring and most of all, you're an amazing mother I love.

You are what i need right now to help me get through this.

In all of this you always know when i'm fake sleeping when you come in to my room. You know what's best for me. I love you for ever I will never stop even when I yell at you that I hate you.

Love, your best daughter right? Love Grace

P.S. I'm your favorite, right? Right?

Not every Mother’s Day

Not every Mother’s Day starts with your kids bringing you breakfast in bed. 

Not every Mother’s Day includes a sweet picnic in the park. 

Not every Mother’s Day contains an idyllic bike ride through town. 

Not every Mother’s Day ends with couch cuddles, eating ice cream and watching a favorite movie. 

Some Mother’s Days just sorta stink. 

Sometimes there are stubborn refusals to wear closed-toed shoes on a hike. 

Sometimes there are tantrums about the proposal to walk in “those” woods instead of “our” woods. 

Sometimes there’s an explosion of frustration from a parent who's been at home with their kids 24-hours a day for nine weeks straight and can’t take another minute of the complaints. 

Sometimes all of those moments are so draining, that the mother desperately seeks the reset button. 

Why is that idyllic Mother’s Day so elusive sometimes? 

This afternoon, as I was sitting alone in my room trying to figure out how our day managed to get so off track, Grace arrived with a Mother’s Day card. It was decorated with pink, purple and yellow and said:

Happy Mother’s Day. I know today has not been the best, but if this day were the best, you wouldn’t be a mother!

I hope this letter will cheer you up. I spent 15 minutes on the cover, so you better like it.

I love you 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,001. 

*Pink stands for how much I love you

*Purple stands for how much we love K-State

*Yellow stands for how you brighten my day even if it’s bad. You are my sunshine. 

My heart immediately warmed. I smiled and thought “touché, little one.” 

Sometimes, despite all desires for something picture-perfect, life and kids do their own things and you do the best you can to make it through your day. Being a mom is one of the most brutal and beautiful roles and I am honestly so grateful for all the days — even the ones that sorta stink. Even the ones that really stink. 

Happy mother’s day to ALL the mothers out there: those that are no longer with us, those who have experienced the loss no mother should, those who have chosen to nurture something other than humans, those who are yearning for motherhood and those who spend your days arguing with your kids over which type of shoe to wear. 

No pictures were snapped today, so I’ll include some from our idyllic bike ride last weekend. 

Chapter 38

Today starts Chapter 38. 

Thirty-seven was a mostly forgettable number, but an unforgettable year, and certainly, an unforgettable time to be alive. 

The year leading up to my 37th birthday was full of many, many breaks in my emotional and mental wellbeing. Actually, that’s an understatement. It was smashed to hell. It was full of sorrow and anger and so much grief I felt like I was drowning in it. 

If that was the year that everything came undone, the year leading up to 38 was one of rebuilding. That doesn’t mean it was smooth or carefree or easy. It was painstaking and frustrating and unbelievably hard. It still is. 

My perspective on myself, my marriage and my life was clouded by 36 years of trying to become what I “should” become. After my Dad died, so did the notion that I “should” be anything. Instead, I’ve spent this past year figuring out what I already am. And what I want to be.  

When I stopped looking for external permission and validation and instead started looking inside for guidance and truth, I felt like a caged bird that had just been let free. But that freedom came with a price, and that price was figuring out what to do with my freedom. 

Who am I? What do I want? What will I write in the chapters I have left? 

I still don’t have all the answers (or even any of the answers), but I know I’m on the way to finding them. It’ll take time. And digging. And writing. And tears. And walking. Lots of walking. 

But I’ll get there. And soon after, I’ll likely start all over again. Discovering oneself seems to be a constant process of changing and evolving. And just when we think things are figured out, we go and evolve more. 

But enough of that philosophical crap. Let’s get to the good stuff … having a birthday in the middle of a pandemic. 

It wasn’t as bad as you’d think. Then again, the only thing I wanted for my birthday — pandemic or not — was to spend hours hiking in the woods with my family, who promised not to complain. Perks of being an introvert during social isolation. 

My day started with being snuggled by my girls, each so excited to wish me a happy birthday. A little later, Henry came barreling in with the full force of his love — a hug that almost knocked me over. Claire wrote me a sweet letter, delivered in an envelope addressed to: “Mom, on the couch.” And my mother-in-law sent me a picture of a painting that her and my father-in-law found that prompted immediate weeping. It couldn’t be more fitting for me. 

Shortly before lunch, we packed a picnic and headed out for my birthday hike. The trail, the trees and exploring the unknown hit the spot. The kids tried so hard to not complain, and Grace said at one point with complete sincerity, “Mom, this place is awesome!!” It was a great adventure. 

Right before dinner, my mom showed up with my favorite birthday cake. Then my sister and brother and their families arrived to wish me a happy birthday and sing from their cars. My niece, Bella, baked me a delicious cake and my niece, Cambri, made me a picture. It was probably the most touching birthday moment I’ve had. We weren’t able to do our normal family dinner and cake tradition, but for some reason, this showing of love amidst the restrictions of a pandemic was even more touching than the usual routine. 

All in all, the beginning of Chapter 38 was a day worthy of much gratitude.