I’m a sentimental person. But I don’t need to tell you guys. You know how sappy I am. How when I see twin babies, my heart aches for my own bald-headed little snuggle bugs. The other day at the zoo I saw red-headed four-year-old girl twins. I about lost it right there.
I won’t deny that I miss those itty bitty girls. There were so many beautiful moments. So many times that my heart just melted when they grabbed my hand to hold or snuggled in bed next to me. When they called me their “beff friend.”
When they were that little, I worried about how our relationship would change as they grew. When there were more eye rolls than hand holds. I worried I’d miss their baby days more than I could bear.
But here’s what I’m learning.
I do miss them as babies and toddlers and those cute little four-year-olds. But I absolutely adore them as eight-year-olds. I would never trade them for who they were back then. Our relationship is more complex — and yes, comes with more eye rolls — but it’s also developing a depth of love and trust that didn’t exist back then. They are starting to understand that I’m not just physically here for them, which they’ve felt since they were babies. But I will be here through mistakes and failures and embarrassments with nothing but love. They are starting to glimpse just how unconditional my love is, and watching them discover that is just as heart-melting as those baby moments.
I love exploring life with them. Watching them discover some of the best and worst parts of life. Seeing their excitement as they kill a test they were worried about or watching them stand vigil next to their grandpa on his last day, hugging while we both sob for the loss of someone we love.
The snuggles were ah-mazing, but walking side-by-side through the ups and downs of life is pretty ah-mazing, too.
A few pictures of us exploring our physical world together: