Sunday, July 3, 2016

Oh, Hi

Hi. Me again. It’s been so long you probably didn’t think I was coming back. Well, here I am. In the flesh. Sorta. 

I have completely lost control over time. I’m desperately trying to slow it down — at least long enough to document it — but it’s dragging me along whether I’m ready or not. 

I actually write to you quite often. Several times a day, I share the hilarious things the girls say or the cute things Henry does. I tell you about how the girls just played for an entire hour without fighting or how Henry just slept THROUGH THE NIGHT! But the problem is I’m just writing to you in my head. I can never find time to actually jot them down. Which is a true shame because some pretty great stuff (and some less-than-great stuff) has happened that I probably want to remember someday. *Sigh*

The past few months have been a doozy. Starting in February and lasting through mid-May, I have been a zombie. A shell of a person who was running on baby smiles and big girl hugs. The multiple, sometimes hour-long, middle-of-the-night wakings night after night after night just crushed me. Several nights I would be trying to get Henry back to sleep and just silently sobbing because I was so tired. That’s the kind of crazy crap that happens with newborns — not 10-month-olds! 

It was to the point that I was dreading bedtime. I was terrified at what the night held. How many times would he wake up? Two? Three? Four? Would he be easy to get back to sleep? Or would it take hours? The days weren’t quite as bad because at least the sun was there to help me stay awake. I actually don’t think life was as bad as it felt, but sleep deprivation does something funny to you. It makes everything harder, longer, heavier. That stack of dishes seems insurmountable. Those loads of laundry endless. 

We discovered in mid-May and confirmed in June that Henry has a milk allergy. It is a mild allergy, but once we cut milk from his diet, life did seem to get better. For the last few weeks, he has slept THROUGH THE NIGHT several times. I’m starting to feel human again. The girls are getting their mom back. Scott is getting a glimpse of his wife. And I swore when I looked in the mirror the other day, I saw Katie. 

So, here we are. Jotting things down. 

I have several stories floating in my head. Hopefully I’ll get a chance to share them. But for now, a few pictures. 

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