All I Want for Christmas

Grace lost her first tooth a couple of weeks ago and then a week later, lost her second tooth! The Tooth Fairy made its first (and second) appearance at our house and left her $.50 for each tooth and a note complimenting her teeth-brushing skills. 

Claire keeps asking me to wiggle her teeth, but so far those puppies are solid. 

I joked with Grace that she could sing the familiar Christmas song and she had this look of panic on her face. I quickly reassured her that it was just a song and that she would probably get more than just her two front teeth for Christmas. Probably. 

Bathside Chats

We have always known Claire has an old soul. She has a depth of understanding that is many years beyond her five. Grace is a very spirited, live-in-the-moment, take-things-as-they-are kind of gal. Whereas Claire thinks and reflects and thinks more on life around her. So, when I started having deep conversations with her, I didn’t see what was happening at first. 

I’d be helping wash her hair or brushing out her tangles or just sitting there chatting with her and we’d start talking about a heavy-ish topic. We’ve tackled race and diversity. We’ve talked through friendship and loneliness. We’ve discussed courage and being brave. We’ve covered empathy. Kindergarten was providing almost daily discussion topics for us. She’d think about what I said and ask questions. I’d ask her questions to get her thinking. And pretty soon we’d both realize I had finished brushing her hair 10 minutes ago and we were wrapped up in our conversation. 

I grew to love these bathside chats we were having — it was this moment with just Claire and I. Then the most beautiful thing happened. We were running late one night with bedtime quickly approaching and she said, “Mom, can I have a quick bath? I want to have time to have one of our talks.” 

Anytime, anywhere, sweet girl.

Kindergarten Diaries: Nov. 12

Help me, Rhonda. 

Dear Henry: Month Five

Dear Happiest Henry, 

Holy roller! The biggest news from this month is your new-found rolling skills. You have been toying with the idea for a month or so, but finally did it on purpose a few weeks ago. It happened one evening after the girls were in bed. We were just playing in your bedroom (which, at this point, involves me handing you different toys to chew on and tickling your belly with kisses). And I just had a feeling that something might happen. I hopped up, ran for my camera and then BOOM! Rolled over. And I was lucky enough to catch it. 

You haven’t experimented with the belly-to-back roll yet, but I’m sure that won’t be far behind.

This month has been full of more smiles and laughs. It may sound like I say that every month (probably because I do), but it’s true!! You keep getting happier and happier as the days go by. That’s not to say you are always happy. You do cry, but it’s almost always from being tired. You don’t really even cry all that much when you’re hungry. You politely let me know with the equivalent of tapping me gently on the shoulder and asking “May I please have dinner now?” 

It’s a far cry (hahaha) from Miss Grace, who would scream from the rooftop that she was ready to eat. Or sleep. Or not eat. Or not sleep. She earned the nickname “The Screamer” for a reason. You’re much more chill about life. To be fair though to Gracie girl, you don’t have to share anything with anyone.

If anything is a testament to how content you are, it was how you did on your first road trip. The Royals won the World Series for the first time in 30 years and since this team has been so near and dear to your father, we decided to drive to Kansas City for the parade and rally. You did great! You took the two+ hour drive better than I could have ever expected and you handled the chaos of the parade like it was no big deal. (To be honest you handled it much better than I did!) What a team player. 

This month hasn’t been all butterflies and Henry smiles, though. We’ve had quite a few breastfeeding challenges to overcome. I think (desperately hope) we’re on the other side of that now, but it led to sleepless nights and frustration for both of us. But that didn’t stop you from smiling.

And I couldn’t be more thankful for that. Keep on smiling, my sweet little boy. 

Love, 

Mama

Cleaning Claire

If you know Scott then you probably know cleaning isn’t exactly his forte. Not that it’s mine either. But it’s REALLY not his. At one point in our lives, this was a point of serious contention. But I’ve pretty much grown to accept that I will always be the initiator behind cleaning. Most of the time he does whatever I ask, but he will very rarely be proactive about it. 

So, Claire. 

In many ways, she is a miniature version of Scott. Including his cleaning habits. She rarely initiates cleaning and unlike Grace, runs for the hills when I announce it’s time to do chores. If I assign her a task, like picking up her stuffed animals, she can usually be found just playing with them instead. Much like her father, it’s not malicious. They just don’t get the same satisfaction from completed tasks and a clean house that Grace I do. 

Which is why last night was so strange. We finished dinner and as I was getting up to put my plate in the sink, Claire stopped me and said “Here, Mom, let me get that for you.” 

Then she disappeared for awhile. 

Every once in awhile I’d see her carrying something from one room to another, but she never lost focus. For about 30-45 minutes, she picked up and organized FIVE rooms. 

After she was done, I asked her to show me everything she did, and I made sure to convey my excitement. 

Maybe there’s hope yet? 

Halloween 2015

A few months ago the girls decided they wanted to be super heroes for Halloween. Specifically, Super Barbie (Grace) and Dark Sparkle, Super Barbie’s nemesis (Claire). I’m a huge proponent of girl power (obvs), even if Barbie is in the mix. 

So, I took their idea and expanded it to create a whole super hero family theme, complete with Super Henry. 

HUGE thanks to my mom for helping me with the costumes. Is there anything better than creating something for your kids with your Mom? I don’t think so either. 

Also HUGE thanks to Scott’s parents for making the annual trek to trick-or-treat with us. I know the girls think this is the norm (and I’m glad they do), but someday they will understand just how amazing all of their grandparents are and be so very grateful they were born in to this family. 

Raising Confidence

I have a few hundred goals as a parent, but one of my top ones is to ensure my kids grow up confident in themselves. I want them to understand who they are and love that person. 

It’s a long road ahead — one that I know will have to endure many phases of conformity and self-doubt. 

Just the other day, the temperature was about 34 degrees when we walked to the bus stop. We usually have to wait about five minutes or so once we get there, so I recommended we dig out our winter coats and hats and gloves. The girls couldn’t believe it would be that cold, so I had them step outside. They both visibly shivered and agreed it was winter coat weather. After we bundled up, Grace started to worry. “But what if no one else is wearing winter coats? What if they laugh at us?” 

Enter self-doubt. We talked round and round about how it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. “Is it cold?” “Yes.” “Do you want to be warm?” “Yes.” “Then it doesn’t matter what anyone else is wearing.” But that didn’t stop her from walking behind me the whole way there. 

I know this lesson will take many years — maybe decades — to be fully understood. Which is why in addition to discussing the topic, I try very hard not to add my judgment to the mix.  

So, I let the girls choose what they wear each day (with some boundaries because they really don’t understand how cold or warm 43 degrees is). I don’t say “Wouldn’t you rather wear this shirt?” or “Those colors don’t work together.” As long as it’s safe for the weather, they get free reign. 

There are times that I cringe on the inside. Once, Claire chose a navy and white striped shirt to go with black and white striped pants. The colors are so close that from a distance, you’d never know they weren’t the same color. But my OCD could see they were slightly off and it drove me nuts. It’s actually still driving me nuts just thinking about. In fact, let’s stop talking about it. 

But my lips were zipped. 

Once, Grace paired a dress and a skirt together and on the inside I was yelling, “But now you are wearing two skirts!!” 

But again, my lips were zipped.  

Most of the time, though, I smile at the wacky things they choose to wear. And I really smile when they show that confidence in themselves. One day, Grace was looking for a pair of pants. I couldn’t find them so I offered another pair: “These would match that shirt.” She spent the next few minutes scolding me: “Mom, you know we don’t have to match our clothes. We can choose what we like. Just because you think it matches doesn’t mean we like it.” 

So, next time you see my kids and think to yourselves, “She clearly doesn’t care.” Just know that their mismatched, multi-layered fashion statements actually show that I do.