A Big Day

Tomorrow is a very big day. 

A HUGE day, in fact. 

Tomorrow is the first day of preschool. 

It's been months in the coming, but I've mostly put it out of my mind because, although I know it will be great for them and great for balancing work and home life, if I think about it for too long, it starts to feel like there is an elephant sitting on my chest. 

But now, it's right in front of me. No more pushing it to the side.

Tomorrow, I will drop the girls off at a relatively strange place, leave them in the care of people who I trust, but really don't know, and walk out of the building.  

The girls are fully prepped on the situation, but a couple of weeks ago, Claire made the connection that Moms and Dads don't stay at the school with their kids. After a couple minutes of quietly processing that, she whispered, "But you will leave me and I won't like that."

That makes two of us. 

I used to be a preschool teacher and this preschool is really great, so I know they will make friends, explore, create and have adventures. And I am, truly, from the bottom of my heart, excited for them. 

And I know how much easier this will make my work life. I'll have a solid half of the day to work completely uninterrupted or distracted. Then, I'll pick them up, feed them lunch and have the rest of the afternoon to work while they nap. Balancing the girls and work can sometimes be very stressful, and this will alleviate so much of that. 

But I still can't shake the other part. At least not yet. 

I'm still just a Mama missing her babies. 

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A couple of disclaimers:

**There are so many parents out there who had to make this transition when their babies were actually still babies. And I know (like really know) how lucky I am to have had them home with me until now. 

**They will only go half days, Monday through Thursday, so I also know how incredibly lucky I am to work from home and have the flexibility to do part-time preschool.