Monday, May 26, 2014

Seven Years

Today is my seventh wedding anniversary. 

A friend once told me that she had heard the first seven years of marriage are the hardest. Who knows if this is true. And even if it's true for most people, I'm quite sure it isn't a universal rule. 

But seeing as how I'm celebrating No. 7 today, I'm just going to cross my fingers that it's the truth. 

Our marriage hasn't been what I would call easy. (Whose is?) Each year, I learn a little more about what marriage is and a little more about Scott and what makes him tick. (And what ticks me off about him). 

There have been moments that I have never felt closer to him and moments that I wanted to throw him off the roof. While it was hailing. During a tornado. 

People don't often talk about the hard times. Who wants to read about arguments and hurt feelings and slammed doors? Who wants to write about it? 

Today, I'm changing that. 

Scott and I argue. Sometimes loudly. Sometimes passionately. Sometimes in hurtful ways. A couple of years ago, we hit a peak. The girls were still little and so dependent. We were working crazy hours. Going to bed close to midnight, getting up at 4 a.m. for work and trudging through all day. We were so tired. And new things were coming up for us to navigate. New challenges with parenting, new challenges with juggling life's demands. Trying to figure out where our marriage fit into this new life we were building. And we were arguing almost daily. Sometimes in little ways. Sometimes in big ways. 

At the time, it felt nearly hopeless. I felt certain we would never find our way out. Never find our way back to Scott and Katie. 

I knew that marriage shouldn't be that hard. I was certain that we were all wrong for each other. Too much oil, too much water. True love was supposed to be easier than this. I was sure of it. 

I was wrong. Marriage is hard. Sometimes really hard. Sometimes unbearably hard. But this is the thing — the most important thing — it's so worth it. Having come out on the other side of those dark, stormy days, I can see how beautiful our marriage is. It's full of ups and downs and more ups and more downs, but we weathered them. 

I know that we will face challenges that threaten to swallow us, but I have faith that our love will be our strength.

This may seem like such a strange way to celebrate our seven years of marriage, but I think it's the perfect way. This is the rainbow after our storm. And although I know there will be more storms to come, I also know there will be more rainbows. 

So, here on this day, I'm pledging in front of all our friends, family and well, the Internet, to say I love Scott. More now than ever before. 

When we've grown old and you have lost your hair and mine is gray — I will love you more that day than today. Because each day I spend with you, I discover more reasons to fall in love. 

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